Jewelie Anne Mendenhall
March 31, 1976 - July 31, 2012
Before you were their daughter, granddaughter, niece,
Before
Before you were their daughter, granddaughter, niece,
sister,
cousin, aunt, friend, lover;
Before
all the joys of first times and
the
traumas of teenage tension;
Before
the agony of forever trying and
the
rewards of accomplishments hard-earned;
Before
all the hurts and confused communications
that
lived between us;
Before
all my missteps,
those
of an inexperienced mother
who
wasn't sure and didn't know,
(who
herself walked with insecurity and fears
that
she masked with bravado);
Before
all your beliefs and perceptions of being
unloved
and unlovable,
those
that colored every relationship you had
those
that became the foundation for one brief life;
Before
every experience that you lived
for
36 years, 4 months:
You
were me and yet not me,
You
were mine and yet your own.
Within
me
You
started,
You
grew,
You
lived
With
flutters of being and kicks of awareness.
Until
that day when you were not content to stay inside
the
close cocoon I supplied,
And
were delivered,
emerging
expectantly into this bright, glaring existence
we
call Life.
And
so it began.
Until
it ended:
A
cocoon of pain
Woven
around you
Your
decision made
A
final word:
"Please."
And
one day in August
You
were delivered again
Into
another inevitable existence
Into
the still, silent womb of another Mother
Who
holds you now
Until
Forever.
But
before all of that . . .
You
were mine.
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I am sobbing. What an expression of love, regret, agony, frustration, joy, and peace. What a beautiful experience your poem does bring. Thank you.
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