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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

A Daughter Remembered: One year later


Jewelie Anne Mendenhall
March 31, 1976 - July 31, 2012

Before 

Before you were their daughter, granddaughter, niece,
sister, cousin, aunt, friend, lover;
Before all the joys of first times and 
the traumas of teenage tension;
Before the agony of forever trying and 
the rewards of accomplishments hard-earned;
Before all the hurts and confused communications
that lived between us;


Before all my missteps,
those of an inexperienced mother 
who wasn't sure and didn't know,
(who herself walked with insecurity and fears 
that she masked with bravado);


Before all your beliefs and perceptions of being 
unloved and unlovable,
those that colored every relationship you had
those that became the foundation for one brief life;


Before every experience that you lived 
for 36 years, 4 months:


You were me and yet not me,
You were mine and yet your own.


Within me
You started,
You grew,
You lived
With flutters of being and kicks of awareness.


Until that day when you were not content to stay inside
the close cocoon I supplied,
And were delivered,
emerging expectantly into this bright, glaring existence 
we call Life.


And so it began.


Until it ended:
A cocoon of pain
Woven around you
Your decision made
A final word:
"Please."


And one day in August
You were delivered again
Into another inevitable existence
Into the still, silent womb of another Mother
Who holds you now


Until Forever.


But before all of that . . .
You were mine.




Copyright © 2013 by Vicky Lynn Macchione.
All rights reserved.

1 comment:

  1. I am sobbing. What an expression of love, regret, agony, frustration, joy, and peace. What a beautiful experience your poem does bring. Thank you.

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